Here comes Philippians

My church women's Bible study is doing Philippians this semester. We start tomorrow night. I'm excited! I have very fond memories of studying Philippians. And then I look closer at the book we are working out of and it is published by....NavPress!!!(My roommate totally did not get my excitement)

And then I started to do some thinking....I first did a Nav study of Philippians my second semester sophomore year of college. And it is now the second semester of my second year of grad school.

As to other things: I'm still stuck on the thought of how much pressure singles get to not be single. As if we are some sort of disease that needs to be cured. Granted most people will get married at some point in their life, but why does it always seem like an outside source is panicking or causing panic in our own personal affairs. At the same time I keep have the verse:

Romans 12:2 go through my head.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Any emptiness or unfulfillment that I may feel in my life will not be cured by a husband, job, or children, but by God alone and the mercy of His grace. If I get married some day, I want it by His plan and His timing and I want it to be a testament of His glory, not of how I played perfect hopscotch to someone else's drum.

So...the American dreamer?

So... what if I don't want to dream the American dream? What if I don't want to share in the aims and goals of this world? What if I dreamed a dream that they wouldn't even recognize, let alone cherish?

Now, I'm not actually saying that I am that much of a freak, a weirdo, or insane, but what if I were?

What if I didn't strive for the great job and wages? Or the lovely farmhouse with the white picket fence (with or without farm)? Or what about the beautiful family of 2.5 kids and a dog? Or the perfect dark handsome 6 ft husband?

What if I wasn't a success? as per social standards?

And why does it feel as though Christian and family circles are often the very ones maintaining those standards?

Now, it is very good for a church family to uphold and maintain standards and encourage each other in those standards. But those should be Biblical standards of godly living. Which I think should include the attitudes of a family/marriage and the stewardship of property or work.

But why do I feel like I would be seen as a sad failure at life by blood and church family if I ended up a childless spinster?

Marriage is good. Children are a blessing. But must I dream about them? I'm not saying that I don't or someday won't.

But I wonder, do I need to?

As a Christian, do I need to?

Do I really need to believe that my biological urges to procreate and spread my genetics to future generations is a measure of my success? Or to buy into the whisperings of my career driven need to climb the ladder and leave a lasting impression of my worth?

I mean really? Seriously?

What if I dreamt the truth? And believed the truth that my "success" and my "worth" is determined and has already been determined by my God, my King, my Glory. What if I truly strove for His Glory each and every day?

And what if that did interfere with the pursuit of the American dream?

What if I dreamed of God's glory, instead of my own?

Is that such a radical thought? Is it a valid thought?

So what if my American dream is different? What if my aims and goals in this world were something new?

And what if the dreams I cherish come true?

Exchanged their Glory

A long time favorite verse of mine is: Psalm 106:20

They exchanged their Glory for an image of a bull, which eats grass.

So in my quiet times a verse from Hosea also stuck out: Hosea 4:7

The more the priest increased, the more they sinned against me; they exchanged their Glory for something disgraceful.

This then lead to a blue letter Bible search and two more verses:

Jeremiah 2:11

Has a nation ever changed its gods? ( Yet they are not gods at all.) But my people have exchanged their Glory for worthless idols.

Romans 1:22-23

Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

I used to mock the Israelites for ever turning away from God. How ridiculous! I mean, they saw such amazing things! And then I stopped pointing my mocking finger at others and realized that this is my own sin as well. I have seen God be faithful and do amazing things. And I have seen Him be so tender and merciful. And yet..and yet, I get side tracked and distracted and exchanged the Glory of my King, the Glory of being justified, the Glory of being the daughter of the immortal, all-powerful, sovereign, omniscient God for what? a grade, a buck, someone's passing opinion of me, societal standards, elusive safety, dreams others claim I should have, a relationship, sleep, things that won't last but will absolutely fade away and most likely fail me as well.

Why does God even put up with us? And when will my heart fully learn that the better deal, the best deal is His Glory? Nothing else comes close to comparing.