A Relational God

Sunday nights are small group nights. For the last couple of weeks the lesson topic has been The Image of God. How we reflect God in many areas of our beings. Tonight it was relationships. And it strikes me again and again how amazing is this God we serve. With in relationships there are levels of : self-revelation, emotional attachment, reciprocity, concern for well-being, and correction. And those make sense and we see them in the relationships that we have here on earth. One point that was made about self-revelation is that the more you reveal, the closer you invite someone. But if you don't want someone to be closer to you than you shouldn't reveal so much. This was stated a bit more towards caution of unloading your burdens to a stranger. Or getting to close to the opposite than is appropriate. But on the twist side, if you do want to have a closer relationship with someone, often its best to revel yourself to them, which encourages reciprocity. And I've seen that. You ladies have probably seen my desire for deep friendships. It's scary territory to be that open, but someone has to start.

So now let's take a step back and consider our King. Talk about self-revelation. All of nature sings of His glory. Nature itself points to an amazing Creator, artistic Master of all. Yet, He gives us even more. He writes a love letter to us, picking us, choosing us, coaxing us to draw closer and know Him. And in His self-revelation, He also includes correction, because He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows the very pitfalls that we will keep us separated from Him and He tells us. Then on top of the songs of creation, and the love letters, He himself arrives in a form that we should best understand: human.

So based on how much God has reveled of Himself and the extent that He has gone through to revel Himself to us in ways which we can comprehend...how close do you think that He wants to get?

On a side note, I just wanted to comment on God's graciousness in restoring relationships. There have been many times in my life where friendships of various degrees have lapsed, broken, or faded. Sometimes my fault or the other's, but in general due to business and carelessness. It always amazes me when God brings someone back into my life and gives me the opportunity to restore a relationship.

World Movers

You know, I have been exceedingly fortunate in the women that God has graciously placed in my life. Women who are passionate, fearless, strong, compassionate, and courageous. Though I know that often they do not feel like any of those things let alone all of them.

You may think that I have rose colored glasses on when I look at you. I can hear the skepticism in your voice, "that's not me. she doesn't know the real me. if only she knew the full truth. if only..." Some of that skepticism is based out of true humility and some is from undervaluation (I can't believe spell check is letting that word pass). And the reason, I can hear the voices in your heads, is not due to telepathic ability, nor to an exceedingly creepy and curiously effective stalking method, but rather those are the same voices that whisper to my mind and creep into my heart.

As much as I fully long to be known, there is always the fear of revulsion when the dirt is exposed. The constant struggle with being open, honest, and vulnerable paired with the instinctive desire to guard this heart and not show any sign of my weakness. There is so much weakness, so much dirt, and so much grace. As much as I deeply and truly feel my imperfection, my mistakes, my unworthiness, I truly begin to understand my God, His sacrifice, and His character. I don't understand how or why God loves me. Nor why Christ would be willing to die on Calvary for me. But God is faithful and He does not lie. Why would He? And He has said that He loves me. Plain and simple. Only it wasn't that simple, it took a price to love me. And because He loved me, He paid it. Dirt and all, because He said He would and that He loved me.

So this blog has veered from its original intent (guess Allyson isn't the only one going down the bunny trails). But I think that this bunny trail is truer to the heart of what I want to say. Those lies that you believe that cause you to want to hide behind your mask, are just that: lies. We are dead. That past is dead. Those imperfections dead. Dead I say, because we are covered in the blood of Christ. And in His blood, we are found righteous, beautiful, something new. And we have new names: Christian. And even more so, He has given us His Spirit as a deposit of what is yet to come. And ladies, that is not a Spirit of timidity.

So when I name you as I see you, do not call me a liar nor a fool. My glasses are not lensed with roses. But my heart does see through different eyes. Though I too struggle to see myself this way, I know it is true. My value, my worth is not dependent on my works. What the world says I am, has no part in my identity. I am a daughter of the King. It is my God who defines me, and whom I want to dance for. Though I still struggle to wade through the waters of this world, I want it to be the joy set before me that enables me to endure the hardness of this world, scorning its shame, giving me perseverance to run this race.

So ladies, those who read this and those who don't, but all the ones that my wonderous God has placed in my life, thank you for being reminders, examples of promises, for struggling beside me, being fellow warriors, and for rejoicing with me in my Creator and His work. My prince who knows the depths of my heart, knew that I would need you. And I call Him gracious because as good as He always is, He has chosen to provide.

importune

So this has been a busy weekend!

Yesterday morning, I helped move boxes for a set of friends who are planning on selling their house and are at the staging stage. So that they need to move a bunch of stuff to storage. It actually took a lot less time than I thought.

And then I went to a crawfish boil. So fellow Northerners, it's a favorite event of those in the South. They get a bunch of fresh crawfish~cause it has to still be alive or else you will get sick from bad crawfish, then they boil it will a bunch of spices, red potatos and corn, and usually sausage as well. Then when it's down, they dump it out onto a table and you stand around and eat, or take a plate and eat. It's an art form learning to get the tail meat out. But I like sea food, so it was good. And it was such a gorgeous afternoon. We were at a friends "farm" aka cabin/house set on a good chunk of land with a man made pond and maybe some woods. But the sun was out and the skies were blue, no mosquitos and the was high 70s/low 80s.

Then my roommate and I went to lows in prep for the yard work we did today.

We now have a small veggie garden, which I dug and planted, sitting in the only sunny spot in all our yard. She mowed and worked on weeding and trimming the already planted plumage. Then we both did some pots. If you want to look at pics, go to her blog "Prattling Peacock."

Kim, I thought of you today, when I hit my head multiple times on the same low hanging branch.

That intro is really only a side commentary and not the main blog.

This morning in Sunday school, Teacher Tim was speaking and was quoting someone else, saying, how sad the state of man that we must be importuned to be happy. But how wonderful God is that He is willing to importune use.

My thoughts (and maybe yours), Importune, do I know that word? Oh he's repeating, maybe context clues. No he just repeated himself. I'm pretty sure I've never heard the word. Now he's moving on, but I still don't know what he said and it seemed important. Do I interrupt? But I know I won't pay attention the rest of the time if I am still stuck on this word. I have a pretty good vocab and I'm sure that I haven't heard it before, surely there are others thinking the same.

"Hey Tim," I say clearly in a probably timid voice.

"Yeah?"

"I don't know what importune means," stated simply. And at least 75% of the room(~15) burst out in agreement. I was actually probably a little red at this point.

And he let us know that it meant inviting/imploring/pleading.

Looking it up now, it means : (verb) ask (someone)persistently or pressingly for or to do something

At small group tonight, Teacher Tim and Wife Pam tell me that they had been talking about me earlier that they thought I was brave for speaking up. While I like hearing that, I'm not sure I would go that far. But I think that this is another example of how grad school is changing me. I'm starting to become pretty used to be the stupid/ignorant person who has to ask for information that I don't know, yet that seems key to understanding. Why is it so hard to admit ignorance? Though I am becoming well practiced, it's still hard.