Across the sea is the land for me where I long to be

So yesterday was the second weekend I went wedding dress shopping with Sam.  This time around Kelly and Danielle joined us.  It was fun.  We grabbed a ton of dresses and were then helping her in and out of them.  We had a system going.  Then at one point her boy called.  And she was trying to get into the dress while talking on the phone.  The rest of us are not positive what happened because we were putting a dress back in the bag (all of this going on in the same large dressing room).  All of the sudden the bride has fallen over into the pile of wedding dresses.  A sight worth remembering, even if its not a well told story.

So then us four plus Amy and Vanessa had dinner at Amy's.  I feel like I haven't seen most of these girls as often this semester because of different classes.  Last semester I became closer with Danielle, Sam, and Vanessa, who are all Cancer track, so I definitely don't have classes with them.  So I have started to notice lately that I felt like I hadn't seen them as much and was wondering if it was just me, or if it was classes.  Actually it turns out that they all have more time being taken up by boys.  Sam started dating in December, though he's long distance.  And Danielle and Vanessa are both casual dating boys here in Memphis, since this semester.  So I kinda feel out of the loop again.  

It reminds me of fall semester Senior year, where all of the sudden my social life took a dive because of people leaving or dating.  So most likely my grades will go up again.  This is also probably why my grades were higher in high school than in college, I didn't have much of a social life.  It actually saddens me, especially as I go into wedding season, and then apparently everyone around me is dating.  It's just that lately I feel rather not wanted and invisible.  (This is probably why I felt so needed when I helped Amy by giving her a shot on Saturday).  I hate feeling like the tag along that is tolerated.  And though I am here for grad school, overall I feel like I am without purpose here.  You know, God really blessed me freshman year by giving me Amy as a neighbor.  It's not as easy this time.  

This city very much needs Christ, and it seems so big and I need to make use of this time that I have and give it to God.  I am just getting frustrated because I can see where I need to be, but I am still not sure how to get there.  And I also laugh(with my odd humor) as I see how much I have changed.  My mood has sad/depressed/lonely tinges to it because I feel like I am stuck on hold and without purpose.  It amazes me how much God has become my heart and purpose that now when I am on pause, it tears me that I am not running.  Wow, that Holy Spirit really pushes.  So I am not sure where to go from here.  But please pray that I not become discouraged.