Bina doesn't have the funds and neither does Dr. Miller.
(so crap, I am now in Decatur and needing to hunt down next round of rotations, not to mention that I was really excited about the thought of working with either professor)
So now I am begging two different people at St. Jude if they will take me for a 5th and 6th rotation. Did I mention that I didn't really want to work at St. Jude and that I was looking forward to working at the Molecular Sciences Building? Either are fine, just St. Jude is known for being more cut-throat. I am also nervous because I don't know anything about the personalities of these professors that I am hoping to work with. And that just makes me very nervous.
I sent out my emails at around 6pm Memphis time. I got a response from one: She was asking my department head what my grades were and if he knew why I was doing a 5th rotation, she had forwarded the email to me. I hope that means she is interested.
I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up with Dr. Bina. It's just that he was so enthusiastic. I should have known better. I feel like I have been holding my breath for the past month and when I talked to Bina, I got some fresh air, and now the air has been knocked out of me again.
I am positive that my God has a purpose and a plan and I am positive that He is in control. But !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want a clue of what is going on!!! I'm missing the lesson.
On Sunday, I officially became a member of the church that I have been attending. I feel like I am finally getting settled and plugged in. I've been talking with some of the people in charge of the college ministry about getting involved and helping out. And I got excited about it. But I don't feel like I can commit to anything until I know that I will have a lab and a job beyond July. I want to move apartments and there is a deal going on right now at one I am interested in. Again, I don't want to commit until I know that I will be here. Part of me wonders if I should step out and make commitments on faith that I will still be here. But I honestly no longer know what God is planning for me. I thought it would be Memphis, but it's just as likely there were other lessons that He has been teaching me and now it's time to move on. I don't want to move on. I really really don't want to go. I have been trying to have open hands and be willing to follow God and His will in all of this. I just pray that He will prepare my way and my heart for whatever course He decides. If it isn't Memphis than I pray that He prepares my heart for that too.
On Sunday, one of the men read me a verse and I can't remember it fully. I've just been trying to look it up, but I don't remember the reference and I don't think he read NIV. It was to the effect that God has brought you here at this time or knows where you are at and it is for His purpose. Any clue? I thought it was New Testament.
As I was searching through Ephesians for it just now, I came across a different favorite promise that I will end with tonight.
Ephesians 3:20-21
Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!
Amen.
2 comments:
Is it Acts 17:26-28?
"From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.'For in him we live and move and have our being.'"
So true, my dearie! I'm sorry that this is such a struggle, but I have all faith that you will end up some place that is perfect of you!!
sorry I haven't been keeping up--you are a more prolific blogger than I am. :)
I think that is the verse. Thanks!
Post a Comment